VReplication: Improve permission check logic on external tablets on SwitchTraffic

[rohit-nayak-ps]

Description

• Add wildcard check on db name during permission check
• Fix error logging by sending the "missing permission" error from the external tablet, so that we can use the correct sidecar db name
• Add checks for partial db name grants in e2e tests

We also use this PR to increase the --vreplication-copy-phase-max-innodb-history-list-length to 10MB since we have found that the current default of 1MB is too conservative and is throttling workflows unnecessarily, especially for atomic copy workflows or for clusters with a high qps.

Related Issue(s)

#18349

Checklist

• "Backport to:" labels have been added if this change should be back-ported to release branches
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• Tests were added or are not required
• Did the new or modified tests pass consistently locally and on CI?
• Documentation was added or is not required

Deployment Notes

[vitess-bot]

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[codecov]

Codecov Report

Attention: Patch coverage is 23.07692% with 10 lines in your changes missing coverage. Please review.

Project coverage is 67.49%. Comparing base (2520f7f) to head (3329073).
Report is 2 commits behind head on main.

Files with missing lines	Patch %	Lines
go/vt/vttablet/tabletmanager/rpc_vreplication.go	0.00%	10 Missing ⚠️

Additional details and impacted files

@@           Coverage Diff           @@
##             main   #18348   +/-   ##
=======================================
  Coverage   67.49%   67.49%           
=======================================
  Files        1603     1603           
  Lines      262428   262448   +20     
=======================================
+ Hits       177114   177139   +25     
+ Misses      85314    85309    -5     

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[beingnoble03]

looks good!

[beingnoble03]

nit: i think this empty line was left unintentionally?

[rohit-nayak-ps]

👍🏽 Let's fix it later, don't want to monitor yet another CI cycle to fix this nit!