apm: Backport TBS ttl and discard_on_write_failure to 8.19

[carsonip]

Proposed commit message

Backport 2 PRs from 9.1 to 8.19:

• TBS ttl config apm: Add integration policy variable tail_sampling_ttl to configure apm-server.sampling.tail.ttl #13348
• TBS discard_write_on_failure config apm: Add config for tail-based sampling discard on write #13950

Checklist

• I have reviewed tips for building integrations and this pull request is aligned with them.
• I have verified that all data streams collect metrics or logs.
• I have added an entry to my package's changelog.yml file.
• I have verified that Kibana version constraints are current according to guidelines.
• I have verified that any added dashboard complies with Kibana's Dashboard good practices

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Related issues

This is a backport PR.
main changelog PR: #14031

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• 💚 Build #26497 succeeded 78730af