Update pronouns post

_posts/2023/2023-12-22-pronouns.md

@@ -7,9 +7,9 @@ image:
     alt: Image unrelated to post. A starling, a beautifully iridescent black bird, stands on a hanging suet feeder. 
 ---
 
-Adapted from a workplace session on pronouns and trans identity.
+Created in cooperation with [Julia Pinedo](https://www.linkedin.com/in/julia-pinedo-094162117/).
 
-**Still a work in progress**
+Adapted from a workplace session on pronouns and gender identity.
 
 ## What are pronouns? 
 and for that matter, what's gender?
@@ -18,31 +18,45 @@ and for that matter, what's gender?
 
 - Words used in place of nouns
 - English has 1st (I, we), 2nd (you), and 3rd (he, she, they, it) person pronouns
-  - When we talk about pronouns in the context of gender identity, we’re referring to 3rd person pronouns – words you use to talk about someone to another person
-- In English as well as some other languages, pronouns are gendered
+  - When we talk about pronouns in the context of gender identity, we’re referring to **3rd person pronouns** – words you use to talk about someone to another person
+  - It is still always correct to use you/yours (2nd person) pronouns
 
 ### Ok, what's gender?
 
+- In English as well as some other languages, pronouns are *gendered*
 - One way we classify humans
 - Ostensibly related to biology, but mostly tied into gendered social norms
 
+> *Gender* is derived from the Latin work *genus*, meaning “kind” or “type.” Gender is the social organization of bodies into different categories of people. In the contemporary United States, this sorting into categories is based on sex, but historically and cross-culturally there have been many different social systems of organizing people into genders.
+
+– Transgender History: the Roots of Today’s Revolution, Susan Stryker (she/her)
+
 > *Gender* literally means “kind” or “type” or “classification” – it’s related to words like *genre* and *general* – and has no necessary connection to real-world biology.
 
 – What’s Your Pronoun: Beyond He & She, Dennis Baron (he/him)
 
+### Gender terms
+
+- **Cisgender**: someone who is the gender assigned to them at birth
+- **Transgender**: someone who is a gender other than, or in addition to, the gender assigned to them at birth
+- **Nonbinary**: an umbrella term or individual identity for anyone whose gender does not wholly and solely align with one binary gender
+  - **Genderfluid** and **agender** are several common nonbinary identities
+- **Two-spirit**: an umbrella term for Indigenous people who fulfill traditional third-gender roles
+
 ## A brief foray into history
 this is all new, right? ...right?
 
-### Fuss over pronouns isn't new
+### Alternate pronouns aren't new
 
-> In 1916, when Jeanette Rankin, of Montana, became the first woman elected to the US House of Representatives, the *Minneapolis Star Tribune* ran this headline challenging the grammatical rule that says the masculine pronoun [he] can refer to women: “Can ‘She’ Be ‘He’, a Congressman, and Be Woman?” Pronouns aren’t just a part of speech. Pronouns are political.
+> ...Francis Brewster coined *E*, *es*, and *em* in 1841, and Charles Crozat Converse announced *thon* and *thons* in 1884...
+
+> ...*ze* appears in 1864, introduced by someone known only by the initials J.W.L., and *hir* first popped up a century ago, invented, or at least introduced to readers in California, by the editor of the Sacramento Bee on August 14, 1920.
 
 – What’s Your Pronoun: Beyond He & She, Dennis Baron (he/him)
 
-### Alternate pronouns aren't new
+### Fuss over pronouns isn't new
 
-> ...Francis Brewster coined *E*, *es*, and *em* in 1841, and Charles Crozat Converse announced *thon* and *thons* in 1884...
-> ...*ze* appears in 1864, introduced by someone known only by the initials J.W.L., and *hir* first popped up a century ago, invented, or at least introduced to readers in California, by the editor of the Sacramento Bee on August 14, 1920.
+> In 1916, when Jeanette Rankin, of Montana, became the first woman elected to the US House of Representatives, the *Minneapolis Star Tribune* ran this headline challenging the grammatical rule that says the masculine pronoun [he] can refer to women: “Can ‘She’ Be ‘He’, a Congressman, and Be Woman?” Pronouns aren’t just a part of speech. Pronouns are political.
 
 – What’s Your Pronoun: Beyond He & She, Dennis Baron (he/him)
 
@@ -65,6 +79,8 @@ this is all new, right? ...right?
 
 ## Prescriptivism and descriptivism
 
+- Prescriptivism handles language from a top-down standpoint: it is defined by an authority, and we use it as defined
+- Descriptivism recognizes that we build our own language, and that authorities (like dictionaries) are just documenting its use
 - Language is built by and for us, to serve our needs
 - It has evolved to get to where we are now, and will continue to evolve
   - *thou* used to be a singular *you*, which was plural-only
@@ -74,14 +90,30 @@ this is all new, right? ...right?
 
 – What’s Your Pronoun: Beyond He & She, Dennis Baron (he/him)
 
+### Why it matters
+
+> …the use of appropriate pronouns has a positive impact on mental health, and the use of inappropriate pronouns can form part of a general pattern of harassment and abuse.
+
+– What’s Your Pronoun: Beyond He & She, Dennis Baron (he/him)
+
+> Gender is a story, not just a word. There are as many ways to be a woman as there are women. There are as many ways to be a man as there are men. There are as many ways to be non-binary as there are non-binary people. This complexity is not chaos, it just is. We do not need to be universal to be valid.
+
+– Beyond the Gender Binary, Alok Vaid-Menon (they/them)
+
+- Misgendering is generally part of a larger pattern
+- Even if misgendering isn’t coming from a place of ill intent, consistent misgendering builds up to be very detrimental
+- Referring to people correctly shows respect and understanding - just like learning to pronounce an unfamiliar name
+- Nonbinary is not a monolith. No gender (experience, expression) is a monolith
+- Pronouns are just one small part of a much larger picture
+
 ## Pronoun interactions
 ...and how do I help?
 
 ### Introductions
 
 - Introduce yourself with pronouns to set norms
-- Encourage, but don’t force, others to do the same
-- Don’t single out the visibly trans person!
+- Encourage, *but don’t force*, others to do the same
+- **Don’t single out the visibly trans person!**
 
 ### Corrections
 
@@ -116,13 +148,19 @@ this is all new, right? ...right?
 ## More scenarios
 beyond just "they"
 
+### What if you don't know someone's pronouns?
+
+- Use they/them/theirs - this is language you already use! e.g. "Someone left their phone here"
+  - Note that if you *know* someone doesn't use they/them, this is misgendering - "they" is not always neutral
+- Use the person’s name
+
 ### Multiple pronouns
 
 - Some people use multiple sets of pronouns
 - For some, there’s a preference; others like all offered sets equally
   - Ask if you aren’t certain!
 - Using both/all sets offered at varying times can make the person feel seen
-- Don’t feel you need to alternate within one sentence or context – this can be confusing for you and others
+  - Don’t feel you need to alternate within one sentence or context – this can be confusing for you and others
 
 ### Neopronouns
 
@@ -131,39 +169,39 @@ beyond just "they"
 - Examples:
   - Ze/hir/hirs or ze/zir/zirs
   - Xe/xem/xyrs (or various other spellings)
-  - E/em/es or ey/em/eirs
+  - Ey/em/eirs
 
 ### Any/all pronouns
 
 - Some people accept any pronouns for various reasons
-- This is not an opportunity to ask them which ones they “really prefer”
+- **This is not an opportunity to ask them which ones they "really prefer"**
 
 ## Resources
 to be cleaned up
 
 ### Books
 
-On pronouns:
-What's Your Pronoun?: Beyond He and She a book by Dennis Baron (bookshop.org)
-A Quick And Easy Guide To They/Them Pronouns — Archie Bongiovanni
-On trans identity and history:
-Transgender History: The Roots of Today's Revolution a book by Susan Stryker (bookshop.org)
-Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity a book by Julia Serano (bookshop.org)
-In Transit: Being Non-Binary in a World of Dichotomies a book by Dianna E. Anderson and Emily Vanderwerff (bookshop.org)
+- On pronouns:
+  - [What's Your Pronoun?: Beyond He and She a book by Dennis Baron](https://bookshop.org/p/books/what-s-your-pronoun-beyond-he-and-she-dennis-baron/8279940)
+  - [A Quick And Easy Guide To They/Them Pronouns — Archie Bongiovanni and Tristan Jimerson](https://www.archiebongiovanni.com/they-them)
+- On trans identity and history:
+  - [Transgender History: The Roots of Today's Revolution a book by Susan Stryker](https://bookshop.org/p/books/transgender-history-the-roots-of-today-s-revolution-susan-stryker/7605046)
+  - [Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity a book by Julia Serano](https://bookshop.org/p/books/whipping-girl-a-transsexual-woman-on-sexism-and-the-scapegoating-of-femininity-julia-serano/7604121)
+  - [In Transit: Being Non-Binary in a World of Dichotomies a book by Dianna E. Anderson and Emily Vanderwerff](https://bookshop.org/p/books/in-transit-being-non-binary-in-a-world-of-dichotomies-dianna-e-anderson/18114824)
 
 ### Articles
 
-Prof. Kirby Conrod is a nonbinary professor of linguistics
-pronouns 101: introduction to your loved one’s new pronouns | by Kirby Conrod | Medium
-pronouns 102: how to stop messing up pronouns | by Kirby Conrod | Medium
-Intermediate Pronoun Studies: pronouns conflicting with presentation | by Kirby Conrod | Medium
-intermediate pronoun studies: multiple pronouns | by Kirby Conrod | Medium
-Julia Serano writes eloquently on many aspects of transness, especially as it interacts with science
-How to be a trans ally at work : Life Kit : NPR
+- [Prof. Kirby Conrod](http://kirbyconrod.com/) is a nonbinary professor of linguistics
+  - [pronouns 101: introduction to your loved one’s new pronouns | by Kirby Conrod](https://kconrod.medium.com/pronouns-101-introduction-to-your-loved-ones-new-pronouns-3fef080266d0)
+  - [pronouns 102: how to stop messing up pronouns | by Kirby Conrod](https://kconrod.medium.com/pronouns-102-how-to-stop-messing-up-pronouns-9bd66911118)
+  - [Intermediate Pronoun Studies: pronouns conflicting with presentation | by Kirby Conrod](https://kconrod.medium.com/intermediate-pronoun-studies-reader-question-1-cd6063030a98)
+  - [intermediate pronoun studies: multiple pronouns | by Kirby Conrod](https://kconrod.medium.com/intermediate-pronoun-studies-multiple-pronouns-71e34cd28c54)
+- [Julia Serano](https://www.juliaserano.com/writings.html) writes eloquently on many aspects of transness, especially as it interacts with science
+- [How to be a trans ally at work : Life Kit : NPR](https://www.npr.org/2020/06/02/867780063/4-ways-to-make-your-workplace-equitable-for-trans-people)
 
 ### Other resources
 
-Gender Census catalogs the words nonbinary people use for themselves
-Pronouns.page has resources on pronouns and gender-neutral language in multiple languages
-GENDER REVEAL (genderpodcast.com) is a podcast with a different trans guest each episode – an excellent look into the diversity of trans experiences
-Parlare by franny (itch.io), an app that teaches gender-neutral pronoun use
+- [Gender Census](https://www.gendercensus.com/) catalogs the words nonbinary people use for themselves
+- [Pronouns.page](https://pronouns.page/) has resources on pronouns and gender-neutral language in multiple languages
+- [GENDER REVEAL](https://www.genderpodcast.com/) is a podcast with a different trans guest each episode – an excellent look into the diversity of trans experiences
+- [Parlare by franny](https://franny.itch.io/parlare-gender-neutral-pronoun-app?secret=toQDv9bqZ1Cj63gGV9kBd9VVLY), an app that teaches gender-neutral pronoun use