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# Cracker Barrel Crucifixion - Extratone Archive | ||
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- [GitHub Issue](https://github.com/extratone/bilge/issues/30) | ||
- [Chaff](https://chaff.writeas.com/cracker-barrel-crucifixion-extratone-archive | ||
) | ||
- [Telegraph](https://telegra.ph/Cracker-Barrel-Crucifixion-05-21) | ||
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![emergency](C:\Users\david\bilge\archive\emergency.JPG) | ||
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<blockquote class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BRJ_4ahlHC9/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14" style=" background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width:540px; min-width:326px; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% - 2px); width:calc(100% - 2px);"><div style="padding:16px;"> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BRJ_4ahlHC9/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" style=" background:#FFFFFF; line-height:0; padding:0 0; text-align:center; text-decoration:none; width:100%;" target="_blank"> <div style=" display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style=" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style=" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div></div></div><div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display:block; height:50px; margin:0 auto 12px; width:50px;"><svg width="50px" height="50px" viewBox="0 0 60 60" version="1.1" xmlns="https://www.w3.org/2000/svg" xmlns:xlink="https://www.w3.org/1999/xlink"><g stroke="none" stroke-width="1" fill="none" fill-rule="evenodd"><g transform="translate(-511.000000, -20.000000)" fill="#000000"><g><path d="M556.869,30.41 C554.814,30.41 553.148,32.076 553.148,34.131 C553.148,36.186 554.814,37.852 556.869,37.852 C558.924,37.852 560.59,36.186 560.59,34.131 C560.59,32.076 558.924,30.41 556.869,30.41 M541,60.657 C535.114,60.657 530.342,55.887 530.342,50 C530.342,44.114 535.114,39.342 541,39.342 C546.887,39.342 551.658,44.114 551.658,50 C551.658,55.887 546.887,60.657 541,60.657 M541,33.886 C532.1,33.886 524.886,41.1 524.886,50 C524.886,58.899 532.1,66.113 541,66.113 C549.9,66.113 557.115,58.899 557.115,50 C557.115,41.1 549.9,33.886 541,33.886 M565.378,62.101 C565.244,65.022 564.756,66.606 564.346,67.663 C563.803,69.06 563.154,70.057 562.106,71.106 C561.058,72.155 560.06,72.803 558.662,73.347 C557.607,73.757 556.021,74.244 553.102,74.378 C549.944,74.521 548.997,74.552 541,74.552 C533.003,74.552 532.056,74.521 528.898,74.378 C525.979,74.244 524.393,73.757 523.338,73.347 C521.94,72.803 520.942,72.155 519.894,71.106 C518.846,70.057 518.197,69.06 517.654,67.663 C517.244,66.606 516.755,65.022 516.623,62.101 C516.479,58.943 516.448,57.996 516.448,50 C516.448,42.003 516.479,41.056 516.623,37.899 C516.755,34.978 517.244,33.391 517.654,32.338 C518.197,30.938 518.846,29.942 519.894,28.894 C520.942,27.846 521.94,27.196 523.338,26.654 C524.393,26.244 525.979,25.756 528.898,25.623 C532.057,25.479 533.004,25.448 541,25.448 C548.997,25.448 549.943,25.479 553.102,25.623 C556.021,25.756 557.607,26.244 558.662,26.654 C560.06,27.196 561.058,27.846 562.106,28.894 C563.154,29.942 563.803,30.938 564.346,32.338 C564.756,33.391 565.244,34.978 565.378,37.899 C565.522,41.056 565.552,42.003 565.552,50 C565.552,57.996 565.522,58.943 565.378,62.101 M570.82,37.631 C570.674,34.438 570.167,32.258 569.425,30.349 C568.659,28.377 567.633,26.702 565.965,25.035 C564.297,23.368 562.623,22.342 560.652,21.575 C558.743,20.834 556.562,20.326 553.369,20.18 C550.169,20.033 549.148,20 541,20 C532.853,20 531.831,20.033 528.631,20.18 C525.438,20.326 523.257,20.834 521.349,21.575 C519.376,22.342 517.703,23.368 516.035,25.035 C514.368,26.702 513.342,28.377 512.574,30.349 C511.834,32.258 511.326,34.438 511.181,37.631 C511.035,40.831 511,41.851 511,50 C511,58.147 511.035,59.17 511.181,62.369 C511.326,65.562 511.834,67.743 512.574,69.651 C513.342,71.625 514.368,73.296 516.035,74.965 C517.703,76.634 519.376,77.658 521.349,78.425 C523.257,79.167 525.438,79.673 528.631,79.82 C531.831,79.965 532.853,80.001 541,80.001 C549.148,80.001 550.169,79.965 553.369,79.82 C556.562,79.673 558.743,79.167 560.652,78.425 C562.623,77.658 564.297,76.634 565.965,74.965 C567.633,73.296 568.659,71.625 569.425,69.651 C570.167,67.743 570.674,65.562 570.82,62.369 C570.966,59.17 571,58.147 571,50 C571,41.851 570.966,40.831 570.82,37.631"></path></g></g></g></svg></div><div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style=" color:#3897f0; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:550; line-height:18px;">View this post on Instagram</div></div><div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"><div> <div style="background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"></div> <div style="background-color: #F4F4F4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"></div></div><div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style=" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"></div> <div style=" width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg)"></div></div><div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style=" width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"></div> <div style=" background-color: #F4F4F4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"></div> <div style=" width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"></div></div></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style=" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"></div> <div style=" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"></div></div></a><p style=" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BRJ_4ahlHC9/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" style=" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none;" target="_blank">A post shared by David Blue (@asphaltapostle)</a></p></div></blockquote> <script async src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script> | ||
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Unfortunately, I'm an authority on Columbia, Missouri. | ||
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Just two hours away from the mathematical center of the United States by motorcar, the hundred-something thousand people of this midropolis find themselves clustered around the center of most intellectual spectrums, huddled together for company. The ideological one, in particular, is absolutely smelly with foot-to-foot-shuffling liberals, and they've had their palms facing a very particular fire for over a decade, now. | ||
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It's called True/False, and it must be the least famous most prestigious film festival in the world. In a local radio interview, co-creator David Wilson (who stopped by my house for dinner once, I think) claimed that 50,000 people showed up last year, but I can't imagine where they all slept. Perhaps on air mattresses in the back of their Subaru wagons. No, I have no use for cheap jokes anymore. (The Murano CrossCabriolet is the official vehicle of this godforsaken place, anyway.) | ||
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Let's just say that the population is halving-again around me as I write you, at least. It's not unreasonable to bet on an even more substantial turnout this year, given Tump's fundamentally anti-Columbian vocabulary, and well... the title of True/False. | ||
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The latest joke I've been tossing around is that this publication's primary coverage to date has actually been of my own emotional development. If this "true" from your perspective, I'm not particularly bothered. Reflection may not be New, but I think - and hope - it can be helpful in mitigating contradictions, discrepancies and other species of obstacle in your own life. | ||
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## A Confession | ||
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I fell asleep for the entirety of the last True/False screening I attended. | ||
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It was a film about the story of a young woman's flight from an abusive household. Or at least... something like that. I'd skipped sleeping the night before and found myself struggling to keep my eyes open just minutes after the lights had dimmed. | ||
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And I didn't return to consciousness until they brightened again as the applause faded in and the occupant of the seat immediately to my left stood up, alone, and made her way to the stage. I'd slept through every frame of the documentary of which she was the subject, right next to her. | ||
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Guilt is one of those motivators that possess truly gargantuan, universal power over human beings. I decided that the culture and I were toxic for each other, and haven't been back, since. (I think that was 2015.) | ||
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It's day #1 of screenings, and I haven't slept, but I have every intention of introducing myself to my immediate fellow audience to confirm their lack of involvement in the production of the film, should I begin to lose gumption again. | ||
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Amongst the Real Magazine Boys, there is a culture of silence regarding day-to-day operations, personal career stories, and industry meta, in general, because their experiences with absurdly low wages and salaries learns them a mean greed of their words (and information, in general,) as they accumulate over time. It may be gluttony, but it is simply a law of nature in the exposure-bound servitude of the ad model. | ||
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Extratone's advertising chastity means that we are free to develop our own system of self-appraisal, and if our innocuous little website really is covering my late maturation, it is also covering itself, so it's worth noting that we have been given a media pass to this year's event, as much as I wanted to play it cool. | ||
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Technically, it's the first press credential of this - my nine-month-old Online son, and I am very proud. It's a big deal; True/False attendance can cost hundreds or thousands of dollars, and we get to send one body for nothing at all. To be honest, contacting the press office did not occur to me until a week ago, so I certainly didn't expect anything more than policy documents, but I received An Email just hours after my request. | ||
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I've already overlapped too much with this month's (upcoming) Editor's Letter, I'm sure, so I'll do my best to minimize transparency this weekend as much as I can. | ||
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True/False's particular nature does not lend toward any sort of live coverage or urgent correspondence, and neither do we. But we are counterculture, so I'm going to brew up a liveblog dedicated to conversations overheard while queuing, and may continue this sort of unrevised "blogging" nonsense as my attendance progresses, depending on how bored I am. | ||
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The asses of Ben Stokes and Leo Marx have the pick of the lot over my own, which should be exciting news, given their unique perspectives on film and culture, respectively. I've been trying to convince Tim to wear his pink suit to the thing - especially the "VR Arcade." Do me a favor and bother his Twitter about it. | ||
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When neither are available though, I will be making every possible use of this privilege, even though my net worth is currently nill, so I may actually end up needed to keep a fucking loaf of bread in my car. |
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