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extratone committed Jan 7, 2021
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6 changes: 2 additions & 4 deletions drafts/iPhone 12 Pro Max.md
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## I lied.

## A masterfully- begat

"This *really is* my last iPhone."

This is the last sentence of [my very sentimental iPhone 8 Plus review](https://bilge.world/iphone-8-plus-review) from May, 2018, in which I bemoaned Apple's decision to finally retire the basic hardware configuration which had defined the marque's first ten years, citing my "loyalty."

In the past few weeks, I have come to realize that the device which I now hold in my hands - which I *cling to*, in fact, at all hours and completely without reason - is the absolute manifestation of everything my 14-year-old, first generation iPhone-adopting self could have possibly dreamt of in its future.

Unlike my iPhone 8 Plus review - which was a very sentimental reflection on "the last iPhone" designed in the configuration I had understood for a decade and therefore accompanied by a bunch of foolhardy lamentations *bitching* about the iPhone X - this review will be one of sincere wonderment regarding *the thing, itself.* Taken out of 2020 context and placed in my 14-year-old hand in 2009, this Pacific Blue iPhone 12 Pro Max would not have disappointed me in the slightest. By that, I mean... It is as unimaginably capable as I would have imagined.
Unlike that iPhone 8 Plus review - which was a very sentimental reflection on "the last iPhone" designed in the configuration I had understood for a decade and therefore accompanied by a bunch of foolhardy lamentations *bitching* about the iPhone X - this review will be one of sincere wonderment regarding *the thing, itself.* Taken out of 2020 context and placed in my 14-year-old hand in 2009, this Pacific Blue iPhone 12 Pro Max would not have disappointed me in the slightest. By that, I mean... It is as unimaginably capable as I would have imagined.

![The Original](https://i.snap.as/Ep06W6A9.jpg)

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into a hypothetical future which


![iPhone 12 Pro Max Physical Controls Diagram](https://i.snap.as/aln4F1N2.png)



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## External

- [ ] [The Flickr Album](https://flic.kr/s/aHsmTiT46W)
- [ ] [The Test iCloud Photos Album](https://bit.ly/12bbbp)
- [ ] "[Apple is reportedly canceling some Arcade contracts to focus on ‘engagement’](https://www.theverge.com/2020/6/30/21308657/apple-arcade-canceling-games-subscription-service-engagement)" | *The Verge*
- [ ] [My Geekbench 4 results](https://browser.geekbench.com/v4/cpu/15929025)
- [ ] [My SpeedTest results page](https://www.speedtest.net/results?sh=889e0d5b2307328d5161bcee81bc6a75)
- [ ] [Fucking Twitch Streaming from your iPhone](https://www.twitch.tv/videos/830771152)

<iframe style="border: 0; width: 100%; height: 120px;" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=1677747693/size=large/bgcol=fff4e6/linkcol=00006b/tracklist=false/artwork=small/track=3800958501/transparent=true/" seamless><a href="https://dreamutilation.bandcamp.com/album/foar-everywun-frum-mimi">FOAR EVERYWUN FRUM MIMI by MIMIDEATH</a></iframe>

<iframe width="auto" height="auto" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/6mvt_aAPyhw?controls=0" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

### Physical Controls
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