GridColumnManager improvements

[drewnoakes]

The previous code had two issues that are addressed here:

• Inconsistent use of string comparers for column names.
• O(N) scan through the column collection for lookups.

This PR uses a dictionary for columns, which ensures consistent comparer use, and gives O(1) lookup.

Checklist

• Is this feature complete?
  • Yes. Ready to ship.
  • No. Follow-up changes expected.
• Are you including unit tests for the changes and scenario tests if relevant?
  • Yes
  • No, covered by existing tests
• Did you add public API?
  • Yes
    • If yes, did you have an API Review for it?
      • Yes
      • No
    • Did you add <remarks /> and <code /> elements on your triple slash comments?
      • Yes
      • No
  • No
• Does the change make any security assumptions or guarantees?
  • Yes
    • If yes, have you done a threat model and had a security review?
      • Yes
      • No
  • No
• Does the change require an update in our Aspire docs?
  • Yes
    • Link to aspire-docs issue:
  • No

Microsoft Reviewers: Open in CodeFlow