[Java] Make it run well with the netty newest version 4.1.96

[panbingkun]

Describe the bug, including details regarding any error messages, version, and platform.

When I used netty arrow memory 13.0.0 and netty 4.1.96.Final in Spark, the following error occurred,
Because netty 4.1.96.Final version has revert some modifications, in order to ensure that netty arrow memory 13.0.0 works well with netty 4.1.96.Final version, I suggest making similar modifications here.
1.Compilation errors are as follows:
https://ci.appveyor.com/project/ApacheSoftwareFoundation/spark/builds/47657403

2.Some modifications have been reverted in netty 4.1.96.Final as follows:


https://netty.io/news/2023/07/27/4-1-96-Final.html
netty/netty#13510

Component(s)

Java