fix(gateway): use connector-owned no-clobber guard for relay thread rename + trace logs

[benbarclay]

Use connector-owned no-clobber guard for relay thread rename + trace logs

Live staging (2026-08-01): relay semantic thread rename still declined silently despite #74482 (feedback cache) and #75581 (registration/poll ordering) both deployed — thread kept its initial-words name, session title generated fine.

Root cause (full write-up in the paired connector PR): the only_if_current_name no-clobber guard is a cross-repo byte-for-byte string match. The gateway cannot reliably reproduce the thread's initial name (the connector derives it with mention-stripping + whitespace-collapse + truncation at creation), so the connector's guard check always failed and returned a silent success:false.

Fix (gateway half):

• The relay rename lane now passes prefer_connector_created=True instead of the fragile initial-name string. The connector resolves the guard from its own created-name memory (paired NousResearch/gateway-gateway#192 — only_if_connector_created, additive).
• Native-marker lane is unchanged: it keeps the legacy only_if_current_name string, because there the source carries the real initial name and the local Discord adapter reads the live name itself.
• rename_thread: new prefer_connector_created param → only_if_connector_created on the wire, taking precedence over the legacy string.
• INFO logs at rename dispatch (thread / lane / new_title) and result (applied=bool). This entire multi-round hunt was slow because the gateway rename lane logged only at debug — invisible in prod. The outcome is now visible in fly logs.

Tests

• connector-guard wire shape + precedence over the legacy string
• the title-turn race test (from fix(gateway): relay semantic thread rename — register eagerly, poll send-result feedback at fire time #75581) updated to assert the connector-owned guard

Relay suite 149 passed · ruff + Windows-footguns clean.

Deploy note: needs the paired connector PR live too (the connector must understand only_if_connector_created). Old connectors ignore the flag and fall back — so deploy connector first, then this. After the fleet image roll, the new INFO logs will show applied=true (or the connector's decision log will show why not) — verify via logs before manual re-test.

[github-actions]

૮ >ﻌ< ა ci review

_{ran on 39b80d8}

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