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Everything @obfuscurity taught me about Monitoring

@petecheslock

  • Amazing time to work in tech.
  • The old days sucked. No good old days.
  • The first fifteen lives of Harry August by Claire North
  • Rewind to 1999
    • sysadmin in 99, with cd and ls
    • # chown -Rf bob:bob files /
    • Phone ring as alerting mechanism.
    • Cold Fusion was advanced.
    • MRTG
    • Then Cacti
    • * * * * * /scripts/mrtg-netmon which doesn't talk to mrtg
    • Then cron with 10 second sleep increments...
  • Bespoke monitoring is a luxury can't be afforded by a startup
  • What would nagios tell us? Everything is effed.
  • I want to build and ship my own tech debt for once
  • You don't get to choose when you launch, nor when you scale
  • Monitor syscall events. Unpredictable load.
  • Security company: can't go down.
  • Premature optimization is the root of all evil...
  • "I think self-hosted metrics are going to be comas archaic as running your own postfix/imap over the next few years." #mipsytipsy
  • threat stack started with 60 second aggregation. Now, less. (ie 10sec agg)
  • https://github.com/obfuscurity/synthesize easy button for graphite
  • Want your devs to ops? Build consumable services.
  • Devs need to own their dashboards.
  • "There's technical debt, then there's technical subprime mortgages with exploding ballon payments." @markimbriaco
  • If you're not embarrassed, you're not devopsing hard enough.
  • this tool choice matters not to your customer. Barely matters to you.
  • Community matters, relationships matter. Tech matters less.
  • You are (probably) not google. Don't solve their problem. ###
  • Solve for your problems, today.
  • No excuse for having no metrics or telemetry. Pick something and use it.