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Find Happiness in Acceptance

在接受中寻找快乐 In any situation in life, you always have three choices: you can change it, you can accept it, or you can leave it.

在生活中的任何情况下,你总是有三个选择:你可以改变它,你可以接受它,或者你可以离开它。

If you want to change it, then it is a desire. It will cause you suffering until you successfully change it. So don’t pick too many of those. Pick one big desire in your life at any given time to give yourself purpose and motivation.

如果你想改变它,那它就是一种愿望。除非你成功地改变它,否则它会给你带来痛苦。所以不要摘太多这样的东西。在任何给定的时间,在你的生活中选择一个最大的愿望,给自己目标和动力。

Why not two?

为什么不是两个呢?

You’ll be distracted.

你会分心的。

Even one is hard enough. Being peaceful comes from having your mind clear of thoughts. And a lot of clarity comes from being in the present moment. It’s very hard to be in the present moment if you’re thinking, “I need to do this. I want that. This has got to change.” [8]

即使只有一个也够难的了。平和来自于头脑中清晰的思想。而很多清晰的东西都来自于当下。如果你在想,“我需要做这件事,那你就很难活在当下。我要那个。这种情况必须改变。“[8]

You always have three options: you can change it, you can accept it, or you can leave it. What is not a good option is to sit around wishing you would change it but not changing it, wishing you could leave it but not leaving it and not accepting it. That struggle or aversion is responsible for most of our misery. The phrase I probably use the most to myself in my head is just one word: “accept.” [5] 你总是有三个选择:你可以改变它,你可以接受它,或者你可以离开它。不是一个好的选择,那就是坐在那里希望你能改变它但不改变它,希望你能离开它但不能离开它而不接受它。这种斗争或厌恶是我们大部分痛苦的罪魁祸首。我脑海中对自己用得最多的一句话可能只有一个词:“接受”。

What does acceptance look like to you?

在你看来,接受是什么样子的?

It’s to be okay whatever the outcome is. It’s to be balanced and centered. It’s to step back and to see the grander scheme of things.

不管结果如何,一切都会好起来的。它要保持平衡,居中。它是退后一步,看看更宏伟的计划。

We don’t always get what we want, but sometimes what is happening is for the best. The sooner you can accept it as a reality, the sooner you can adapt to it.

我们并不总是得到我们想要的,但有时正在发生的事情是最好的。你越早接受它成为现实,你就越早适应它。

Achieving acceptance is very difficult. I have a couple of hacks I try, but I wouldn’t say they are totally successful.

要获得认可是非常困难的。我试过几种破解方法,但我不会说它们完全成功。

One hack is stepping back and looking at previous bits of suffering I’ve had in my life. I write them down. “Last time you broke up with somebody, last time you had a business failure, last time you had a health issue, what happened?” I can trace the growth and improvement that came from it years later.

其中一个技巧是退后一步,回顾我生活中以前经历过的一些痛苦。我把它们写下来。“上一次你和某人分手,上一次你生意失败,上一次你身体有问题,发生了什么事?”我可以追溯到几年后它带来的成长和进步。

I have another hack I use for minor annoyances. When they happen, a part of me will instantly react negatively. But I’ve learned to mentally ask myself, “What is the positive of this situation?”

我还有另一个用来做小麻烦的黑客。当它们发生时,我身体的一部分会立即做出负面反应。但我学会了在心里问问自己,“这种情况的积极面是什么?”

“Okay, I’ll be late for a meeting. But what is the benefit to me? I get to relax and watch the birds for a moment. I’ll also spend less time in that boring meeting.” There’s almost always something positive.

“好的,我开会要迟到了。但是这对我有什么好处呢?我可以放松一下,看一会儿鸟儿。我也会在那个无聊的会议上少花点时间。“几乎总会有积极的事情发生。

Even if you can’t come up with something positive, you can say, “Well, the Universe is going to teach me something now. Now I get to listen and learn.” 即使你拿不出积极的东西,你也可以说,“好吧,宇宙现在要教我一些东西。现在我可以边听边学。“ To give you the simplest example: I was at an event and afterward, someone flooded my inbox with a whole bunch of photos they took.

举个最简单的例子:我参加了一个活动,事后,有人把他们拍的一大堆照片塞进了我的收件箱。

There was a tiny instant judgment saying, “Come on, couldn’t you have just selected a few of the best? Who sends a hundred photos?” But then immediately I asked myself, “What is the positive?” The positive is that I get to pick my five favorite photos. I get to use my judgment.

有一个小小的瞬间判断说,“来吧,你就不能选几个最好的吗?谁会发一百张照片呢?“但我马上问自己,“积极的一面是什么?”积极的一面是,我可以挑选我最喜欢的五张照片。我可以用我的判断力。

Over the last year, by practicing this hack enough, I’ve managed to go from taking a couple of seconds to think of a response, to now my brain doing it almost instantaneously. That’s a habit you can train yourself to do. [8]

在过去的一年里,通过足够多地练习这个技巧,我已经成功地从花几秒钟想出一个回应,到现在我的大脑几乎是瞬间做出反应的。这是一个你可以训练自己去做的习惯。

How do you learn to accept things you can’t change? 你如何学会接受你不能改变的事情? Fundamentally, it boils down to one big hack: embracing death.

从根本上说,它可以归结为一个大技巧:拥抱死亡。

Death is the most important thing that is ever going to happen to you. When you look at your death and you acknowledge it, rather than running away from it, it’ll bring great meaning to your life. We spend so much of our life trying to avoid death. So much of what we struggle for can be classified as a quest for immortality.

死亡是将要发生在你身上的最重要的事情。当你正视自己的死亡并承认它,而不是逃避它时,它会给你的生活带来巨大的意义。我们一生中的很多时间都在努力避免死亡。我们为之奋斗的许多东西都可以归类为对不朽的追求。

If you’re religious and believe there is an afterlife, then you’ll be taken care of. If you’re not religious, maybe you’ll have kids. If you’re an artist, a painter, or a businessman, you want to leave a legacy behind.

如果你有宗教信仰,相信有来世,那么你就会得到照顾。如果你不信教,也许你会有孩子。如果你是一名艺术家、画家或商人,你想留下一份遗产。

Here’s a hot tip: There is no legacy. There’s nothing to leave. We’re all going to be gone. Our children will be gone. Our works will be dust. Our civilizations will be dust. Our planet will be dust. Our solar system will be dust. In the grand scheme of things, the Universe has been around for ten billion years. It’ll be around for another ten billion years.

这里有一个热门提示:没有任何遗产。没有什么可以留下的。我们都要走了。我们的孩子将会离开。我们的作品将化为灰烬。我们的文明将化为灰烬。我们的星球将会变成尘埃。我们的太阳系将会变成尘埃。在宏伟的计划中,宇宙已经存在了100亿年。它还将存在100亿年。

Your life is a firefly blink in a night. You’re here for such a brief period of time. If you fully acknowledge the futility of what you’re doing, then I think it can bring great happiness and peace because you realize this is a game. But it’s a fun game. All that matters is you experience your reality as you go through life. Why not interpret it in the most positive possible way?

你的生活就像一夜之间的萤火虫在眨眼。你在这里只待了这么短的一段时间。如果你充分认识到你正在做的事情是徒劳的,那么我认为它可以带来巨大的快乐和平静,因为你意识到这是一场游戏。但这是个有趣的游戏。重要的是你在生活中体验你的现实。为什么不用最积极的方式来解释呢?

Any moment where you’re not having a great time, when you’re not really happy, you’re not doing anyone any favors. It’s not like your unhappiness makes them better off somehow. All you’re doing is wasting this incredibly small and precious time you have on this Earth. Keeping death on the forefront and not denying it is very important.

任何你不开心的时刻,当你不是真正快乐的时候,你都不是在帮任何人的忙。这并不是说你的不快乐会让他们过得更好。你所做的一切都是在浪费你在这个地球上拥有的这令人难以置信的小而宝贵的时间。把死亡放在最前面,而不是否认它是非常重要的。

Whenever I get caught up in my ego battles, I just think of entire civilizations that have come and gone. For example, take the Sumerians. I’m sure they were important people and did great things, but go ahead and name me a single Sumerian. Tell me anything interesting or important Sumerians did that lasted. Nothing.

每当我陷入自我斗争时,我只会想到来来去去的整个文明。例如,以苏美尔人为例。我确信他们是重要人物,做了伟大的事情,但请继续,给我一个苏美尔人的名字。告诉我苏美尔人做了什么有趣的或重要的事。没什么。

So maybe ten thousand years from now or a hundred thousand years from now, people will say, “Oh yeah, Americans. I’ve heard of Americans.” [8]

所以也许一万年后或者十万年后,人们会说,“哦,是的,美国人。我听说过美国人。“[8]

You’re going to die one day, and none of this is going to matter. So enjoy yourself. Do something positive. Project some love. Make someone happy. Laugh a little bit. Appreciate the moment. And do your work. [8]

你总有一天会死的,这一切都无关紧要了。所以好好享受吧。做一些积极的事情。投射一些爱。让某人开心。笑一笑。感谢这一刻。做好你的工作。“[8]