He woke with a start but didn't know what had woken him up. It was just before midnight and she seemed fast asleep. He didn't feel that he could go back to sleep just then so he decided to make yet another trip to the NICU. He closed the door slowly, taking care not to wake her up. The corridor was faintly lit and smelt of moist phenyl. He had heard others complaining of hospital stays but he didn't find it very disagreeable. The room was minimalistic and always kept clean. People usually spoke in gentle whispers and there was no screaming noise from TV or music players. Hospitals were saner than home.
But it was inexplicably different this time. As soon as they checked in, they noticed a constant drilling noise surfacing from the ground floor. When it was no longer bearable, they called the reception to complain about it. Apparently, one of the wings of the hospital was under renovation and they were given a room just above. She insisted that they shift the room because the baby would be brought back in the night after the light treatment and this noise was bound to keep him up. They managed to get a new room, but it would not have been necessary because they were told later that day that the baby needed another four hours under the light.
While arguing with the hospital staff, he had told them that the basic expectation a patient would have from a hospital is peace and quiet. Similarly, he had expected that once the baby was delivered, everything would be taken care of. He had not bothered to pin down the specifics, but he imagined that between the doctors, nurses and her parents, they were safely covered. He had been anxiously awaiting the first stools, which some book had told him, was a sign that the baby's internal organs were functioning as expected. Once that happened, he relaxed for the first time since her water broke. Now, all that remained was to sit back and watch the baby grow up.
The expected delivery date was well into the beginning of August. So, when she woke him up calmly one week before and told him that they needed to get to the hospital, his first reaction was panic. He didn't know whether to drive slow to keep her comfortable or to get quickly to the hospital. The doctor was not there and the nurses didn;t seem to be in a hurry. It took half a day of waiting for them to finally decide to operate to deliver the child. He watched the surgeons cut her up and manoeuvre the wriggling baby out, He was so distracted that he was not sure if he noticed the baby's gender before it was whisked out. Her belly was full of blood but the surgeons seemed in no hurry. They even seemed to chat about something else while they collected cord blood. Later, when his friend asked him if he was swimming with joy, he realized that relief was the overwhelming emotion he felt.
The NICU had a sleepy look about it though all the lights were switched on. He waited hesitantly until a nurse came out and looked at him questioningly. He enquired after the child and she gave the expected answer that he's doing well but they will need the results in the morning before he can be sent back to the room. He noticed that they were still referring to him as "Baby of ...". They hadn't zeroed in on a name before he was born and after he was, they had been grappling with the essential duties of feeding and fussing over his sleep. They failed to notice that his skin was taking a yellowish tinge. After all, no one had warned them to look out for it. When they took him for his weekly checkup, the doctor said that his bilirubin was too high and he would need to be put under the light for 4 hours or more.
One session didn't seem to be enough and soon enough, they were alternating between the treatments and blood tests to ensure that the bilirubin count was under control. While taking the sample, the baby would be taken in. He couldn't possibly hear the screams, but he could imagine them. After a while, the nurse would come out with a calm baby. He later found out that they would feed the baby with formula after poking them for the sample. Initially, they would both go to the NICU for feeding. Since he was being brought out in between sessions, the nurse would bring him with the eyepatch intact. But he was wilful and refused to feed until he could see his mother's face. The hospital staff found that unusual but had to give in when she insisted.
He asked the nurse if he could take a quick peek at his child. She reluctantly agreed. He stepped into the room where two or three babies were sleeping, only his under a string white lamp. His baby was lying face down with both legs tucked in. He seemed so diminutive and helpless. The baby's anus was clearly visible and looked like a puckered flower to him. That made him sad and he somehow felt like he had failed in his duty to protect something so delicate and pristine. Until then, he had wanted many children but the one week they spent nursing their only child for a simple illness made him decide that he would be the only one.
~ Him
© 2019 Subhash G