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Conflict Resolution Process

**Purpose: **To resolve an interpersonal conflict.

As members of a learning collective, we address and resolve conflicts with these principles at front of mind:

  • It’s impossible to change other people. We can only change ourselves.
  • We take ownership for our thoughts, beliefs, words, and actions. We don’t spread rumors.
  • We don’t talk about another member behind their back.
  • We resolve disagreements directly with those involved, and don't drag anyone else into the problem.
  • We don’t blame problems on others. When we feel like blaming, we take it as an invitation to reflect on how we might be part of the problem (and the solution).

Formal Process

Most interpersonal tensions can be resolved by sharing and being heard. If, however, your tension isn't just resolved by being heard, you still need to address it directly with the person you have tension with using a more formal process.

Any formal conflict starts with someone bringing a request directly to another member. The request needs to be actionable, clear, present, and sufficient to resolve the conflict. Requests can be benign ("Please make a public commitment to our team to arrive to meetings on time."), to more involved ("Please commit to repairing what happened by writing an email to everyone."), to the most extreme ("Please leave our team" or "Please leave the Guild").[^1]

At all stages, the person receiving the request can say Yes, No, or negotiate for a different outcome. If there's a "Yes" or another outcome that's sufficient to both, then the conflict is resolved. If there's a "No" then the initiating member has the choice of either escalating the conflict to the next phase, or dropping it.

Resolution Phases

  1. In the first phase, the two parties sit together and try to sort it out privately.

  2. If they can’t find a solution agreeable to both, they nominate another person they both trust to act as a mediator. The mediator doesn’t impose a decision. Rather they support the participants in coming to their own solution. Again, a clear request is needed, and a Yes, No, or a compromise.

  3. If mediation fails, a panel of topic-relevant members is convened. Again the panel does not impose a solution. They weigh in with what they think is fair, and it's up to the person receiving the request to decide.

  4. In an ultimate step, if a resolution is still not reached, two or more Learning Facilitators are called into the panel. Unlike the previous stages the Learning Facilitators can choose to impose a solution if they all agree on one.[^1]

Clearing Coaching

If you need coaching or support before clearing with someone, or before/during engaging in a formal resolution process, reach out to a Learning Facilitator and set up a coaching session. The Learning Facilitator will support you in resolving the conflict directly, and hold you accountable to closing the loop.

Third Party

Sometimes, a member can sense a conflict between two people (or is caught in a triangulation between them). If that's the case, they can ask one (or both) parties to the perceived conflict wether or not there actually is one (reality check), and make a request that they address it and report back.

[^1]: If the Conflict Resolver is involved in the initial conflict, the conflict still needs to progress through the 4 stages before they ultimately make a call in the fourth step.