diff --git a/.github/scripts/install-podman.sh b/.github/scripts/install-podman.sh
index c9532af47d..03fc49a7e7 100755
--- a/.github/scripts/install-podman.sh
+++ b/.github/scripts/install-podman.sh
@@ -1,33 +1,122 @@
 #!/usr/bin/env bash
-# Pin and install podman, working around a crun incompatibility on some
-# runner images.
+# Install a pinned podman static bundle from mgoltzsche/podman-static.
 #
-# Runner images occasionally pre-install podman 5.x paired with a crun too
-# old to support it, breaking sandbox creation with "crun: unknown version
-# specified". Pin to the 4.x series, which matches the crun shipped on these
-# images, until GitHub Actions runner images ship a compatible crun pairing.
-# `apt-get install -y podman` alone does not downgrade an already-installed
-# newer version, so the pin's Pin-Priority authorizes the downgrade and
-# --allow-downgrades permits apt to execute it.
+# Runner images ship a static podman 5.8.4 bundle under /usr/local/, which
+# wins on PATH over anything apt installs at /usr/bin/ -- apt pinning to
+# 4.x (#5738) never actually took effect, so podman --version kept
+# reporting 5.8.4 regardless. This script installs the *same* version the
+# image already ships, explicitly and verifiably, instead of fighting it:
+# pinning our own copy over the same /usr/local location guarantees a
+# known-good version+checksum regardless of what a future runner image
+# update silently changes underneath us. No version change from what's
+# already running in the image; smoke-tested end to end via
+# functional-tests (real sandbox creation through the OpenShell
+# gateway/API socket, not just the diagnostic `podman ps`/`logs` calls
+# in internal/sandbox).
 #
-# See #5733. Remove this pin once runner images ship crun >= 1.15
-# (podman 5.x's requirement) as standard.
+# This approach mirrors how runner-images itself installs podman
+# (self-contained static tarball bundling podman + crun/runc + conmon +
+# netavark + aardvark-dns + pasta) and is portable across distros.
+#
+# See #5733, #5742.
 #
 # Usage:
 #   .github/scripts/install-podman.sh
 set -euo pipefail
 
-sudo install -d /etc/apt/preferences.d
-printf 'Package: podman\nPin: version 4.*\nPin-Priority: 1001\n' \
-  | sudo tee /etc/apt/preferences.d/podman-pin >/dev/null
-sudo apt-get update
-sudo apt-get install -y --allow-downgrades podman
+# Pinned podman-static release tag -- matches the version actions/runner-images
+# itself pins for the same bundle, so we're never fighting the image's own
+# install, just making it explicit and verified.
+PODMAN_STATIC_TAG="v5.8.4"
+
+# SHA-256 checksums for the pinned release archives, independently verified
+# against the upstream release. These match the values actions/runner-images
+# itself pins for this same tag. To update: download each archive and run
+# `sha256sum podman-linux-<arch>.tar.gz`.
+declare -A EXPECTED_SHA256=(
+  [amd64]="a58765fe8be6ab3fb79f892f1a027b4ce4a7e8eb589df1ef960c167cbde08d69"
+  [arm64]="a2f6b73cc0f7018e2e8518338a4ec27db70148e1af86e16719235605aefd1df3"
+)
+
+case "$(uname -m)" in
+  x86_64)  arch="amd64" ;;
+  aarch64) arch="arm64" ;;
+  *)
+    echo "::error::Unsupported architecture: $(uname -m)"
+    exit 1
+    ;;
+esac
+
+archive_url="https://github.com/mgoltzsche/podman-static/releases/download/${PODMAN_STATIC_TAG}/podman-linux-${arch}.tar.gz"
+archive_path="$(mktemp)"
+trap 'rm -f "${archive_path}"' EXIT
+
+echo "Downloading podman static ${PODMAN_STATIC_TAG} (${arch})..."
+curl -fsSL --retry 3 --retry-delay 5 -o "${archive_path}" "${archive_url}"
+
+# Verify the downloaded archive against the pinned checksum before
+# extracting anything as root. Fail loudly on mismatch.
+expected="${EXPECTED_SHA256[${arch}]}"
+echo "${expected}  ${archive_path}" | sha256sum -c --strict
+echo "SHA-256 checksum verified for podman-linux-${arch}.tar.gz"
+
+# The archive contains a top-level podman-linux-<arch>/ directory with
+# usr/ and etc/ sub-trees. Extract only usr/ (the binaries): the bundled
+# etc/containers/*.conf are generic Fedora-oriented defaults (e.g. a
+# deprecated v1-format registries.conf) that would silently override
+# whatever the runner image already has correctly configured for its own
+# static bundle -- actions/runner-images re-applies its own post-install
+# config fixes after this same extraction for exactly this reason, and
+# that follow-up config has already changed upstream once. Skipping
+# etc/ avoids re-chasing that moving target: existing config is left
+# untouched, and podman falls back to sane compiled-in defaults if none
+# is present.
+sudo tar -xzf "${archive_path}" -C / --strip-components=1 \
+  "podman-linux-${arch}/usr"
+
+# Without the bundled etc/containers/containers.conf (intentionally not
+# extracted above), podman falls back to the base OS default at
+# /usr/share/containers/containers.conf -- on runner images that also
+# have a distro-packaged podman, that default points at the distro's
+# own crun (/usr/bin/crun), not our freshly-extracted one. Confirmed via
+# `podman info`: conmon/netavark/aardvark-dns/pasta all correctly
+# resolved to the new bundle, but ociRuntime still resolved to
+# /usr/bin/crun at the old distro version. Force both possible
+# resolution paths to the same verified binary rather than depending on
+# podman's config-driven runtime search order.
+sudo ln -sf /usr/local/bin/crun /usr/bin/crun
+if [[ "$(readlink -f /usr/bin/crun)" != "/usr/local/bin/crun" ]]; then
+  echo "::error::/usr/bin/crun does not resolve to our pinned /usr/local/bin/crun (see #5742)"
+  exit 1
+fi
+
+# On Ubuntu >= 23.10, AppArmor restricts unprivileged user namespaces by
+# default. The distro-packaged podman ships an /etc/apparmor.d/podman
+# profile granting the `userns` permission; this static binary has none,
+# so rootless podman fails with "failed to reexec: Permission denied"
+# without it. Mirrors actions/runner-images' own install script.
+# `flags=(unconfined)` is intentional and provides no sandboxing of
+# podman itself beyond the explicit `userns` grant -- it exists solely
+# to satisfy the kernel's "process must be AppArmor-confined" gate.
+if [[ "$(cat /proc/sys/kernel/apparmor_restrict_unprivileged_userns 2>/dev/null)" == "1" ]]; then
+  sudo tee /etc/apparmor.d/podman >/dev/null <<'EOF'
+abi <abi/4.0>,
+include <tunables/global>
+
+profile podman /usr/{bin,local/bin}/podman flags=(unconfined) {
+  userns,
+
+  include if exists <local/podman>
+}
+EOF
+  sudo apparmor_parser -r -W /etc/apparmor.d/podman
+fi
 
 installed_version="$(podman --version)"
 case "${installed_version}" in
-  *"version 4."*) ;;
+  *"version ${PODMAN_STATIC_TAG#v}"*) ;;
   *)
-    echo "::error::Failed to pin podman to the 4.x series (see #5733); got: ${installed_version}"
+    echo "::error::Failed to install podman ${PODMAN_STATIC_TAG} (see #5742); got: ${installed_version}"
     exit 1
     ;;
 esac